Itching to leave .. again.

I think it's something to do with elections in this country. As soon as people start campaigning I get this very strong urge to get the hell out of here. All these interviews and debates spark all sorts of uncomfortable questions the answers to which make me wonder whether this country is a good place to raise my family. Don't get me wrong, for a single person or a couple without kids this is the mecca. This is a great place to scavenge and rape (financially speaking) so you can make loads of cash (at least by comparison) to travel and do all sorts of fun stuff. Sure you have to work you butt off but generally it pays off.

But now I have other interests and the questions now span more than the next quarter or year. The questions now are: How the hell will I help pay for the college education of 2 kids when in 18 years is said to have increased to $100K per? How much time will it take to stop hating the people around me who generally view kids as an annoyance and don't want to ever have them around? And perhaps the most important question is: do I really want my kids growing up in a country where the general education level is decreasing so rapidly from generation to the next? I'm not so worried about my kids' education because I will take care of that if their school lags at something. I'm worried about their generation making decisions, voting, etc. Seems more unsafe then the ETA in Spain.

I watch politicians and the general population mouthing off about things that are so ridiculous and against EVERYONE's best interest. EVERYONE except for the large national and multinational corporations (make that their boards and investors) that fund campaigns. And 30+% of the population is just going along with all this crap about deregulation of environmental standards when we've seen the negative consequences of pollution. With continuing to not tax the uber-rich even though it's been proven that they don't consume any more or less either way. With failing to put tax money towards the things are matter .. long term investments in our citizens instead of short-term fear-induced money pumping into the pockets of the large DoD contractors with friendly connections to the Pentagon.

I like the article this chart came from in The Atlantic. It focuses on productivity but says so much about other things as well. The following explains this chart:

"Adjusted for inflation, home energy costs doubled between 1967 and 2003, and continued to rise in the last ten years. The cost of medical insurance is growing faster than wages. Tuition and higher education fees are growing even faster."

I'll stop here because I am depressing myself..

Oh the progesterone!!

Seemingly that's the reason one gets sick in the first trimester. It's also the reason why you're more violent, moody and bitchy in general.

Hubby's already adapted thankfully and totally ignores my general pissyness when it occurs. It's usually related with some task that wasn't finished. Yesterday I got in a financial planning kick, mostly because we haven't monitored our bills or debt or budget for the past 3+ months and I have grand plans like taking 4 months off starting with the 9th month and paying off all our outstanding debt which if we weren't so dumb would have been paid off by now, etc. Needless to say that took 5 hours worth of work (auto bill pay, projections for the next 6 months, etc) but at least it's all straight in my head and I know where we're at.

The above was also prompted by the fact that our house in the midwest did not get rented this school year which means $1400 more a month out of our pocket until we rent it to random people (ugh!) or sell it ( and lose about $30k due to the market being super crappy in that area currently .. more ugh!) which 1)pisses the crap out of me and 2)worries the crap out of me.

On the other hand the Toddler has been wonderful lately. Behaving and generally being a pleasure to be around. Yesterday he swatted at me (not for the purpose to hurt but just because i was tickling him) and I told him that he could have hurt me and it was not nice, etc (it's a whole verbal drill we do with him now since he's sort of slappy at school). He grabbed my face with his tiny hands and started giving me kisses all over the left side where he would have hit me saying "here, mommy? here?". I of course started to laugh because the level of detail was so cute. He suddenly got serious, held my face close to his, and said "not funny, mommy!" which is the first 3 word sentence I've heard him use so far. So I tried not to laugh and after a couple more kisses he asked if I'm all better and gave me a hug. Seriously, how cute is that?!

Food has become a chore just as it was last time I was pregnant. I can only eat small portions of food because I'm nauseous and get full quick, but not eating enough makes me fainty and weak and I start seeing spots or sometimes my vision all but disappears. I also have now a great amount of heartburn which isn't helped by the fact that I crave spicy foods and acidic stuff like tomato juice and fruit and stuff. So far the biggest cravings have been chocolate and udon noodle soup which thankfully I do a great job at making myself. Last time I craved Nutella pretty much my entire pregnancy .. that and cooked beef bone marrow spread on toast with salt. It's an Old Country thing. The other thing I miss now is wine which was not the case last time. I miss being able to take breaks from my own brain which is constantly wound up and thinking and planning and worrying.