Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Teeth & enterpreneurship

.. they are ruining my sleep. G.'s getting a couple more which means I don't sleep nearly enough and after 2 hours of screaming between getting home from school and going to bed the only energy I have left is the that necessary to grabbing a glass of wine .. then some fatty food, then more wine and of course, more food. Thus fatter ass. I ran .. a few days then I stopped. Something to do with the above routine.

Things are exciting around here though. A number of competitions involving coding, mobile apps, etc and potential contact with investors if your idea is hot enough. SO of course now I listen to 5 hours of tech podcasts a day, read a number of books and am completely involved in the whole coming up with ideas/learning new cool things. Which is great and would rock if I actually had some extra time. The only "extra" time I have is between 7ish and 10ish when I'm literally wrecked from making diner/serving dinner/keeping G happy/bathing G/etc G related.
Enough said about that.

So I've got a couple of months to get all my shit together for these competitions. The truth is, once I figure out what the hell I am doing, my chances of actually getting something out of these things are pretty damn good. But the problem is that I don't have nearly enough time and unless I start planning my days/nights better I won't get anything done which would be very very sad.

But I have a plan and some lists and that's a good place to start.

UPDATE .. 3 hours later: actually I'm freaking the hell out. I want to do this thing but it's almost impossible to achieve. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

How dare I let them?!?!

I am pissed off! Why? Because the world is fucking evil and it has no soul. And, most of all, because I let its commentary on my choices and my life affect me.

Got to daycare 15 minutes late yesterday .. fancy daycare ..local daycare in beautiful brick building .. great programs, healthy food .. flipping expensive at $1200/mo .. and was threatened that next time we're late if they can't reach us by phone - i did call back 5 minutes after they called and i didn't hear the phone - they will call child services to pick Mr. G. up. Child services??? If it wasn't for the wonderful teachers at this school and the fact that it would be impossible to find a spot at an equally good school mid-semester I would be withdrawing him immediately. How can I trust an institution who treats my child like inventory?

Anyway .. a number of executives will be receiving a very angry piece of mail in the next couple of days.

I'm gonna go run my anger away now.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

On procrastination

I used to be a horrible procrastinator until college when it started to catch up to me when I started working jobs where one needed to be quasi-responsible. Having realized what a negative impact this could have in the long run I decided to make swift and powerful changes that would ameliorate the problem. I put pen to paper and made a list of everything unfinished, whether in progress or abandoned and got to work. The process? Simple. Take the first step. If it was calling the bank about something I just picked up the phone and dialed without thinking about the 2nd step. That is the hardest part of the process: not thinking about the future, about the next minute, next 5 minutes, etc. So simple and it worked .. immediately.

The more of the list I tackled and the more action I was taking immediately on new instances where in the past I would have delayed acting on them the more satisfying the whole process become. Almost addicted to the satisfaction of what I called the "clean plate". No more little crumbs to remember and frustratedly think about, even if for a second.

And then the baby came and little by little I fell into the same old cycle of procrastination. Now I had a very valid reason: I am/was tired all the time. Whatever time I had I just wanted to sleep well into his 20th month. In fact I am procrastinating right now. Every morning I procrastinate when I decide not to work out although I have been telling myself every night that the next morning I will make the 15 minute investment of going to the FREE gym in our building which is just doors down, on the SAME FLOOR as our apartment. Yup, that bad. Then every night I procrastinate eating better which is something I vow to myself every morning. There's always tomorrow but the point is that it's not for tomorrow; it's for right now.

I wanted to write this to out myself as a lazy ass and psych myself up and actually make it to the gym before going to work but the truth is I would have to wake up a lot earlier to be able to accomplish that [another level of my horrible procrastinating as of late] and I have to get ready and be at work for a meeting in 30 minutes so in this case I will have to say confidently and with resolution that I will wake up early tomorrow to start the 8 week program in preparation for a 5k and that I will not regret the next day all the junk I've eaten in the previous one this whole week. I promise myself that and I am doing it for all the procrastinators out there.

Sometimes the first step is simply the decision to take the 2nd step in a specific time frame. I will write back tomorrow, after my first run in over 2 years.