The next few steps have been taken. Now it’s time for the leap and I would greatly lie if I didn’t say I’m getting cold feet. The plan is to move to Virginia in the November time frame. Probably one of the stupidest financial moves of our lives HOWEVER we’ve always wanted to leave the Midwest and this is a great opportunity. Timing is also good as baby G. is not old enough to care where he is and before he gets into school I would really like to find HOME, wherever home is.
We've lived under a star of impermanence here as we've always talked about moving. Well, I would really really like to be somewhere "for the foreseeable future". I was on the airline's website choosing the flights to and from and it really hit me: other than the commitments we have made regarding this move, at the moment there is nothing driving my desire to leave this place. Certainly later I will care, but currently, as long as I have a bed and a roof over our heads I really couldn't care less where I am located geographically. Is it that I've adjusted to living here and despite having been so obsessed with leaving I just don't mind the place anymore or is it that I have been so tired that I really don't care? So of course, this makes everything a lot harder especially since a financial sacrifice is required.
I think it's safe to say I'm kinda freaking out.
A move IS a big leap! And that's without a baby and the other stuff you have going on. . .heck, I was stressed just when we moved 6 miles to our new house two years ago! Of course I would selfishly like you to stay here, but I understand the desire to start fresh somewhere that you want to stay long-term. If your head/heart is somewhere else then it's hard to fully enjoy where you're at. I was in a similar place 3 years ago. When Joe got his first job here in 2003, we weren't planning to stay more than 3 yrs. So I really didn't make friends nor did I form any attachments to anything else here. In 2006 he applied to a job in Austin, TX (where we had decided we wanted to live for the rest of our lives) and it looked like it was going to work out - then bam - they decided not to hire anyone. So then we focused on the Carolinas, but the position they interviewed him for was in Portland and neither of us felt a pull towards there. Then came the opening for his current position. We considered the pros - like, not having to find good "appointment people" all over again (among many others), and by then it was spring 2007 when Joe & I had started trying to get pregnant. I must have had a sense that I might want to stay 3 hrs from my parents instead of 13! As you know, he got the job and we haven't regretted it for a moment. We bought this house a month later and plan to stay approximately 6 more years. . .then we'll look at Austin or the Carolinas again. It's amazing how things changed once I made the decision to stay for awhile. Now I have friends and I feel almost as at home here as I did in Iowa (where I lived my first 23 years). Sorry for such a long comment - my point is, I think a lot of it is pyschological. So follow your heart and you will be happy!
ReplyDeleteIt's probably institutionalization - very real distress but once you take the leap everything will adjust. There's no safety in always choosing the safest, most financially secure route because that sort of security can look foolproof one minute and disappear the next. Trust yourself!
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