Still in a slump ..

that about sums it up. Had a great weekend but my impossible deadline looms. Hate Monday night deadlines because they force you to work during the weekend. Or at least feel like crap if you don't do any work. This weekend however I haven't done any work. I've decided that until Mr. G. goes to bed tonight I won't. Instead we hung out with friends yesterday morning, different friends in the afternoon, this morning went to the farmer's market and this afternoon hanging out with another toddler and his mommy, maybe go swimming. Any other time I'd fight the blahs with a kick ass menu for the week which would set us back about $300 .. but now, I'll be lucky if I get to make the zucchini cheddar biscuits recipe I found yesterday. I don't have the extra $ in the weekly grocery budget anyway so it wouldn't matter but at least I'd relish in the possibility. Mmm... relish!

Maybe I should start a food blog .. maybe that would motivate me. There's a shelter near by I'd love to volunteer at but I never have the time before 7pm to do anything. Maybe I could work a part time job as a bartender .. do you need schooling for that? I could devise an alter ego, maybe a goth alter ego .. no, a more approachable alter ego. One that falls more in line with current trends. That could be fun. I think one of my most favorite jobs ever was working part time in college at the library, restocking returned books. It gives you a lot of time to think, and peruse books otherwise you'd never touch on subject matters you've never heard of. Does the library of congress need part-timers?

Been so stressed lately I wake up with heartburn every morning. It gets worse throughout the day. Gets better when I get home. So i ingest a lot of rolaids. Today I couldn't really tell the difference between which kind of pain i was feeling so I went through the checklist: hunger? thirst? nope .. heartburn. After 4 sandwiches, 1/2 gallon of water and many pee breaks later I succumbed to the all reliable rolaid. Did you know tums contains aluminum in small amounts? I switched to rolaids when I was pregnant because of that.

I'm blabbering .. it's therapeutic. Sitting down, thinking of random things and typing helps. I found lately to be getting really annoyed at dear hubby when he spoke. Then I realized it's because I don't have time to day dream or just let my mind wonder so in the few moments when we're not being screamed at by Mr. G. if he chooses to say something that is not invaluable information I get pissed. "I was just about to have a 10 second brain break followed by 30 seconds of thoughts. Shut up!!!" Whenever I have a split second of processing available I think of work or household related stuff. I have so many other thoughts I don't get to explore but only a one track mind. I've become a horrible multi-tasker .. something I probably won't bring up in my next job interview.

It feels like Sunday

.. because it's the last day off before the work week, of course.

There's something very depressing about Sundays. I hate Sundays. Wish I could just sleep through them. Sundays are for pondering the amount of work you have to do the coming week and the disappointment of how little you've gotten done (whether is play or housework) in the supposed ample time you had this past weekend. Just depressing.

Maybe if you don't have kids you sleep in, rest and recoup. But if you have kids the weekends seem the most tiring, although also the most fun, time of the week.

Today I still have a lot of work to do. Have probably worked about 20 hours this weekend. Then there are the dishes which I don't mind. If i'd be given the option to wash dishes for the same amount of money I make now I'd probably take it. I'd even take a pay cut .. maybe of 10%. Just think of what a satisfying job if you enjoy washing dishes: each project is very small - a dish. Everyone agrees on what the outcome should be - no bits and pieces on the dish, no grease, no goo. Short bursts of satisfaction! Software development however, a whole different situation .. especially when the requirements change on an hourly basis. Ugh!

Wow .. it's been 6 months

We've moved. Yes!! Mr. G. has quite a few new teeth (dealing with the molars now, at 16 months), still not talking, still gorgeous. Work is even more stressful now .. or rather, the new boss is more stressful than the old boss. I still can't fit into my old clothes, not that I'm doing anything about it and .. that's pretty much it. Other than the moving an otherwise uneventful half a year.

Today we went to a 4th of July party at another couple's place (they have a toddler) and another couple was invited (they too have a toddler). Moral of the story: never have more than 2 toddlers per party. We were all dizzy when it was over. Especially because the other invited toddler hit and slapped Mr. G. and his buddy repeatedly. Mr. G. decided he had enough, closed the door to the room they were playing in and slapped him. The kid cried for like 10 minutes straight. I know .. I know .. I'm a proud mama. Especially for closing the door. I mean, hello?! Plausible deniability! Brilliant!

So I worked yesterday and am working today and tomorrow despite being a "long holiday weekend". Sad thing is I don't really care .. I'm so stressed about getting all this work done I don't care. And I should. Because I have a few recipes I want to try, about 427 books that I should have read by now, a book I want to write, a fashion house I'd like to start, a restaurant I'd like to open, a lot of different things I want to do with Mr. G., oh yeah, and the idea of scrapbooking sounds very interesting. But I'm exhausted and at the end of the day I am just happy I've survived it, Mr. G. was read to and most likely bathed and hopefully had a little food too. If the dishes are done and I have clean clothes for the next day I'm in heaven. No wonder I've become so down and with such little will to accomplish anything .. my highest achievable goals have become mundane. The loss of my self-confidence of 10 years ago makes me weep.

Ok, that's a depressing ending. Here's a happier one: today I had the most scrumptious home made white peach cobbler ever created. Yes, that is a happy ending.